The Munich Hash House Harriers circle song book

 

put together for you by Munich's song mistress: Poor me, water!

 

This book is for over 18s only.

 

 

Hare songs

 

And the hairs, and the hairs and the hairs

on her dicky di-do hung down to her knees

one black one, one white one, and one with a little shite on

and on with a little light on to show us the way

 

She's not a great looker, but everyone took 'er
And the hairs of her dickey di-do hung down to her knees

I smelt it, I've felt it, it was just like velvet
And the hairs of her dickey di-do hung down to her knees

You'd need a coal miner to find her vagina
And the hairs of her dickey di-do hung down to her knees

If she were my daughter I'd have them cut shorter
And the hairs of her dickey di-do hung down to her knees

I've touched it, I've licked it, it tastes just like brisket
And the hairs of her dickey di-do hung down to her knees

She married an Italian, who was hung like a fucking stallion
And the hairs of her dickey di-do hung down to her knees

She divorced the Italian, and married the stallion
And the hairs of her dickey di-do hung down to her knees

I folded her lips back, and there found a six-pack
And the hairs of her dickey di-do hung down to her knees

The aroma it lingers, it smells like fish fingers
And the hairs of her dickey di-do hung down to her kne

 

 

S  H  I  T  T  Y       T  R  A  I  L

Shitty trail (it sucked)

Shitty trail (it blew)

The mother fuckers laid a shitty trail.

I'd rather sit here and drink a beer

and drink me beer

then run your shitty trail

 

 

Drink a little bit, run a little bit,

follow the hare, follow the hare

with your tits in the air

Drink a little bit, run a little bit

Follow the hare all the way

 

Virgin songs

 

Put your hand against the wall,

Here we cum, balls and all

bye bye virgin

drink it down down down...

 

 

We've got virgins, we've got virgins

on the hash, on the hash,

gonna get them drunked up,

gonna get them fucked up

down the hatch, up the ass

 

Here's to virgins, they're true blue

They are hashers through and through

They are pisspots so they say,

Tried to go to heaven but they went the other way

 

(this is a traditional down down song,

you can change virgin to another charge)

 

 

Here's to brother hasher, brother hasher brother hasher

Here's to brother hasher may he chug-a-lug.

He's happy, he's jolly, he's fucked up by golly

Here's to brother hasher may he chug-a-lug.

So drink brother hasher, drink brother hasher

drink brother hasher, drink brother hasher

Here's to brother hasher may he chug-a-lug.

 

 

Ein Prosit, ein Prosit

we're the Munich Hash

ein Prosit, ein Prosit

we're the Munich Hash

 

 

This is your down down song, it isn't very long

 

A Frenchman went to the lavatory

for him to have a jolly good shit shit shit

He pulled his pants and trousers down

so he could revel in it it it

but when he reached out for the paper

he could see someone had been there before.

Ou est le papier? Ou est le papier?

Monseur, monseur, je fait manure

ou est le papier

 

All Australiens are born illegitimate

born illegitimate, born illegitimare

All Australiens are born illegitimate

Bastards through and through

They ain't got no birth certificate

They don't know who their daddy is

 

All lay, zooma zooma zooma,
All lay, zooma zooma hey!
All lay, zooma zooma zooma,
All lay, zooma zooma hey!
Drink it down, you Zulu warrior!
Drink it down you Zulu chief, chief, chief!

 

Amazing Hash

How sweet the trial

That saved a DFL like me

I once was lost but now I'm found

The on on I now see

 

Arse holes are cheap today
Cheaper than yesterday
Little ones are half a crown
Standing up or bending down

Larger ones are three and six
Because they have larger pricks
Arse holes are cheap today
Cheaper than yesterday.

 

Asshole, asshole, a soldier I will be,
To piss, to piss, two pistols on my knee,
For cunt, for cunt, for country and for queen,
Asshole, asshole, asshole, asshole, a soldier I will be

Bull-shit, bull-shit,
It all sounds like bullshit to me, to me,

Bull-shit, bull-shit,
It all sounds like bullshit to me!

 

Did you ever stop to wonder,
If your mum gave dad a blowjob,
Right before she kissed you goodnight?

(Comes in Handy knows the tune)

 

Down Down Down your beer,
drink it for your crime.
Quit complaining about the taste,
There’s no sperm this time.

 

Dough, the stuff that buys me beer,
Ray, the guy who brings me beer, (Thanks Ray!),
Me, the guy who drinks the beer
Far a long way to the beer
So, I'll have another beer
La, la la la la la la,
Tea, no thanks I’ll have a beer
And that brings us back to dough dough dough dough

 

Get it up, get it in, get it out, don't mess my hair do

You've got a dick but you should lick, move that tongue around

Hit that spot, make me hot, I will scream out loud

Get it up, get it in, get it out, don't mess my hair do

You've got a dick but you should lick, move that tongue around

Suck my toes, insert your hose, make my juices flow

Get it up, get it up, get it out, don't mess my hair do

You've got a dick but you should lick, move that tongue around

When I'm done, and I have cum, we'll start another round

Get it up, get it out, don't mess my hair do

You've got a dick but you should lick, move that tongue around

 

Hashers, meet the hashers,
They're the biggest drunks in history,
From the town of Munich,
They're the leaders in debauchery.
Half minds, trailing shiggy through the years,
Watch them as they down a lot of beers,
Down down, down down down down,
Down down down down down down down down down,
Down down, down down down down,
He ought to publicly pissed upon,
He ought to be publicly shot (Bang! Bang!),
He out to be tied to a urinal,
And left there to fester and rot

 

He’s got a dose of clap on his dick,
He’s got a dose of clap on his dick,
He’s got a dose of clap on his dick,
And all it does is go drip, drip, drip.

 

He's the meanest, he sucks the horse's penis,

he's the meanest, he's the horses ass.

Ever since he found it, (hey) all he does is pound it (hey)

he's the meanest, he's the horses ass.

 

Hot vagina for your breakfast, hot vigina for your lunch

hot vagina for your dinner, just munch munch munch munch munch

Its so tasty and nutritious, bite-size ready to eat

so take a tip, go eat some clit

Hot vagina can't be beat

 

How would, you like, my finger in your ear?
How would, you like, my finger in your ear?
Not fucking likely! Not fucking likely! Not fucking likely!

How would, you like, my finger in your rear?
How would, you like, my finger in your rear?
Not fucking likely! Not fucking likely! Not fucking likely!

How would, you like, my finger in your beer?
How would, you like, my finger in your beer?
Not fucking likely! Not fucking likely! Not fucking likely!

 

Hymn, Hymn,
Fuck him!

 

 

If your girlfriend tastes like shit, turn her over,
If your girlfriend tastes like shit, turn her over,
If your girlfriend tastes like shit, that's her asshole not her clit,
If your girlfriend tastes like shit, turn her over.”

 

If your boyfriend tastes like shit, he’s a homo,
If your boyfriend tastes like shit, he’s a homo,
If your boyfriend tastes like shit, he’s definitely packing it,
If your boyfriend tastes like shit, he’s a homo.

Last night I stayed home and masturbated,
It felt so good, I knew it would!
Last night I stayed home and masturbated,
It felt so nice, I did it twice!

First I did the short stroke,
It was so grand, I used my hand!
Then I did the long stroke,
It was so neat, I used my feet!

Mash it! Bash it!
Throw it on the floor!
Tie it ’round the bed post!
Smash it in the door!
Some say that intercourse is something truly grand,
Me I’d rather stay at home and do it all by hand!

 

Love me tender, love me sweet,
Wrap your lips around my meat.
Watch me smile and watch me grin,
As my cum runs down down down....

 

My cock will choke you,
My cock will choke you,
When I put it in your mouth,
My cock will choke you,
My cock will choke you,
When I put it in your mouth.

Can’t say your safe word,
Can’t say your safe word,
When my cock is in your mouth,
Can’t say your safe word,
Can’t say your safe word,
When my cock is in your mouth.

 

My one skin hangs down to my two skin,

My two skin hangs down to my three,
My three skin hangs down to my foreskin,
My foreskin hangs down to my knee.

Roll back, roll back,
Roll back my foreskin for me, for me.

Roll back, roll back,

Oh roll back my foreskin for me, for me.

 

No! No! No!
Bad! Bad! Bad!
Down! Down! Down!

 

Nipples, nipples,

1. I. P. P. L. E. S.

Nipples, nipples,

1. I. P. P. L. E. S.

Lick them, flick them, play with them too,

Thats where babies go to get goo.

Nipples, nipples, Thats what makes the titties fun!

 

Oh, the nipples on her tits are as big as my thumb,

And the wiggle of her ass would make a blind man cum,
She’s a mean mother-fuckers, she’s a great cock-sucker,
She’s a harriette!

 

Pissanya, Pissanya, Pissanya,
In Russian it means “I love you,”
If I had my way I’d pissanya all day,
Pissanya, Pissanya, Pissanya.

Shittanya, Shittanya, Shittanya,
In Russian it means “I adore you,”
If I had my way I’d shittanya all day,
Shittanya, shittanya, shittanya.

Cummanya, Cummanya, Cummanya,
In Russian it means “I need you,”
If I had my way, I’d Cummanya all day,
Cummanya, Cummanya, Cummanya.

 

Put it in your hand Mrs. Murphy,
For it only weighs a quarter of a pound,
It’s got hair on its neck like a turkey,
And it cums when you jerk it up and …

 

Put your left leg over my shoulder,
Put your right leg over my shoulder,
La la la la!

 

Rule Britania! Marmalade and jam!
Five Chinese crackers up yer asshole,
BANG, BANG, BANG, BANG, BANG!

Rule Britania! Marmalade and jam!
Three Chinese crackers up yer asshole,
BANG, BANG, BANG!

Rule Britania! Marmalade and jam!
One Chinese crackers up yer asshole,
BANG!

 

Sex is boring,
Sex is boring,
Pain is fun,
Pain is fun,
Gonna cut my fingers off,
Gonna cut my fingers off,
One by one...

 

She's a harriet she's ok

She drinks all night and she fucks all day.

She wears high heels, a mini skirt no panties nor a bra

She gives an awesome blow job, just like her dear Papa

 

She likes it in the kitchen,
She likes it in the kitchen,
She likes it in the kitchen,
The kitchen is code for butt

 

Stop! Don’t touch me there!
This is my no-no square!

R-A-P-E!
Get your penis out of me!

 

Technology was made for porn it was not made for trail

Technology used correctly can help you get some tail.

Technology, Technology just leave that shit at home.

Your camera, your GPS, your fucking mobile phone.

 

Thank God she finally shut up,
She’s always fucking bitchin,
So drink your beer, get out of here,
And get back in the kitchen!

 

The old brown cow went pfft up against the wall,
Pfft up against the wall,
Pfft up against the wall,
The old brown cow went pfft up against the wall,
And the wall was covered in shit! Shit! Shit!

 

The nipples on her tits are as big as my thumb

and the wiggle on her ass would make a dead man cum

She's a cool motherfucker, she's a cool cocksucker

She's a harriet

 

There’s a skeeter on my peter, wack it off, (wack it off!)
There’s a skeeter on my peter, wack it off, (wack it off!)
There’s a dozen on my cousin’s,
I can hear the fucker’s buzzin,
There’s a skeeter on my peter, wack it off!

 

 

There is a game called twenty toes,
That’s played around the town,
Women play with ten toes up,
And men with ten toes …

 

Twinkle, twinkle, little hasher,
Can’t you suck a little faster?
Down upon my meat so slow,
Like a whale about to blow,
Twinkle, twinkle, little hasher,
Can’t you suck a little faster?

 

Well it isn’t long and it isn’t think,
It gets hard too slow and it cums too quick,
It gets lost in her twat but it’s all that he’s got,
It’s a small, small dick.

It’s a small dick after all,
It’s a small dick after all,
Always limp from alcohol,
It’s a small, small dick!

 

 

What a wank, what a wank, what a wank, wank, wank,
What a wank, what a wank, what a wank, wank, wank,
What a wank, what a wank, what a wank, wank, wank,
What a wank, what a wank, wank, wank.

 

 

When it’s incest time in Texas,
And there’s no cunt to be found,
Your mother’s in the bathroom,
Her panties halfway down,

No time for masturbation,
No time to beat your meat,
When it’s incest time in Texas,
Mother-fucking can’t be beat!

 

 

 

Whip it out at the ball game,
Wave it round at the crowd,
Dip it in peanuts and Crackerjack,
I don’t care if you give it a whack,
Because it’s beat your meat at the ball game,
If you don’t cum it’s a shame,
‘Cause it’s one, two,
You’re covered in goo,
At the old ball game!

 

Why were you born so beautiful, why were you born at all?

You ain't fucking use to anyone you ain't fucking use at all

You may be a joy to your mother, but you are a pain in the arsehole to me

 

You’re not number four,
Not number three, notnumber two,
You’re number one!

You’re stupid, you’re stupid,
You’re really fucking dumb,
If it wasn’t for you’re mother,
You’d be a sspot of cum!

 

Well the weather outside is frightful, but my dick is so delightful

If you really want to see it grow,

give it a blow, give it a blow give it a blow

 

Where, oh where, were you last week?

Why did you make us hash all alone?

You fat lazy bastard, you weren't even here

So we fucked all the virgins and drank all the beer

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

International Hash Hymn

 

Chorus:
Swing low, sweet chariot,
Comin' for to carry me home;
Swing low, sweet chariot,
Comin' for to carry me home.

I looked over Jordan, and what did I see,
Comin' for to carry me home;
A band of angels coming after me,
Comin' for to carry me home.

If you get there before I do,
Comin' for to carry me home;
Just tell all my friends that I'm a-coming too,
Comin' for to carry me home.

Sometimes I'm up and sometimes I'm down,
Comin' for to carry me home;
But I know in my soul, I'm heaven bound,
Comin' for to carry me home.